so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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