Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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