your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Randomize