So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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