I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
