Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
