I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
