Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
All I want is dick and wine.
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