After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize