sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
