considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
