Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
