Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I think I won the penis lottery.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
