you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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