At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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