he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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