I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Can I color on your dick again?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize