we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
