I bet he comes in French.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
