if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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