Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
did i just pee glitter
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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