Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
