Swine flu. Run for my life!
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Randomize
