i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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