There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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