HIV tests are more positive than that guy
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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