Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Randomize
