it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I deserve this hangover.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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