Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Someone came in the potted fern
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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