there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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