Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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