look no pants
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Drunk is not a location!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
