Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
My Higher Power is John Stamos
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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