Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Randomize
