fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
