omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize