Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm like, not good at living.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
