Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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