yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Randomize
