He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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