I heard we made out
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
