youre lurking in front of me
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
