you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
