my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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