Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
