How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
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Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
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You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
They are going to name an STD after you.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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