there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
