im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
