found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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