If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
