The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
