I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
