I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
