i think my mom watched the whole time
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
