You work out of a Hotel?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
