so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize