we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
