the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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