i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Alive.
So much puke
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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