I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
