His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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