A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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