your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
There are leaves in my underwear?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
