im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
