we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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