Say something about gay babies.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
