i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
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he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
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I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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