We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
