How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
